We put so much effort into feeling “enough” and trying to convince ourselves we are “worthy” – can we just drop it???
Because here’s the thing – you’re NOT enough, and you’re NOT worthy and you never will be.
Because “enough,” when it comes to being a personal quality, or a character trait, means NOTHING. Literally!!! It only has the meaning we attach to it. There is no standard of what “enough” is. That’s one of the reasons why you keep asking if you’re enough and you never get a real answer for yourself. “Enough” and “worthy” – as personal qualities – cannot be measured in a quantitative way. They are always, always a comparison with something else that has to be defined first. As women, that thing that always has to be defined first is a constantly moving target. Just when you think you’re “enough” compared to some particular standard you’ve identified as the best, you look at your sister or your friend or your neighbor or your co-worker, and your enough-ness goes right out the window.
There is a huge difference between asking “am I smart enough?” and “am I good enough?” “Smart”/Intelligence can be measured, tested, determined by your education and experience. Before I applied to law school, I asked, am I smart enough to be a lawyer? And, honestly, if you are able to read and write and are willing to study law and its quirks, then you, too, are smart enough to take the LSAT, go to law school, and pass a bar exam. Does being smart mean I will be successful? Maybe not, but am I “smart enough,” yes. Am I smart enough to work at SpaceX and build rockets? No. Definitely not. I suck at math, theoretical physics make my brain explode, and I could not engineer my way out of a cardboard box. I’m not smart enough to work at SpaceX, and I do not feel guilty about it because I know it is beyond my education, experience, and desire.
“Am I a good enough mom?” is a different question entirely. “Good” according to who? What does “good” even mean? Is anyone ever all “good” or all “bad”? Asking “am I a good enough mom?” just shows that I have all kinds of judgements, conclusions, and opinions about what makes someone a good mom….. all of which may or may not be true or helpful or based on anything measureable.
We should stop asking whether we are “enough” or whether we are “worthy” because WE ARE NOT A COMMODITY! We are not something to be bought or sold, or whose existence is up on the auction block for someone to determine our value and availability.
Every time we ask if we are “enough” or if we are “worthy,” we are still playing by someone else’s standards because “enough” and “worthy” always imply a comparison. When we talk about ourselves this way, we are constantly acknowledging that someone else’s approval or opinion determines our inherent value as a human being. And it’s time to STOP.
Why is “value” a necessary conversation anymore, especially among women??? Why are we allowing this discussion? Why are we entertaining the idea that we are NOT worthy or enough?? Let’s take it out of the discussion and our vocabulary completely. If WE are not willing to completely dismiss the concepts of “enough” and “worthy” as they apply to human qualities, why should anyone else? We have to step into our own power and fiercely declare that the value of our lives are not up for debate. And, while this is an international conversation, for sure, we must first start with what is coming out of our own thoughts and mouths.
I challenge you to take the words “enough” and “worthy” out of your conversation as they apply to YOU or any other person. I challenge you to stand in yourself as an expression of the divine and simply say, “I AM.” Let’s take God’s example and leave it at that. We do not need to follow up this statement with a “what.” Just “I AM.” There is ultimate power in acknowledging the wonder that you ARE, you EXIST!!! Your soul is having a human experience! That’s amazing! Breathe in the grace and power and relief of “I AM.” Feel the ease of letting THAT be enough.
No one else gets to define you. YOU don’t even have to define you. It is a lie that we need all these other labels and ideas and identities to tell us who we are.
YOU ARE.
I AM.
Enough, already.